No more poems about or writing about God at all (cross posted)

There will be no more God poems. He is telling me to “just survive” and that is no different that what I have been told by my nation, doctors, family, and everyone in my life, to various degrees of closeness. God has stolen my words. What has God ever done for me? Forced a lifetime of rather extreme suffering on me. What will God ever do for me? No more than I could do for myself. It is only when I feel most helpless about who really has a control over reality that I believe God looked out for me, which makes no sense at all. Thanking God for scraps at the table. Thanking people who get God’s words from me for just acknowledging my existence. People take God from me, without the slightest thought of giving back in any form or fashion. God can find another more apt voice. No doubt that person will not have had to live with a life of trauma for the honor and no doubt people will form a reciprocal relation with the more than socially accepted individual who God speaks from next. By the way, God has relationships with hundreds of people if not more, and they are all sworn to secrecy about knowing God’s plan and having that rather constant relationship. So think on that. Are those people holy or traitors? I shall be neither. I can ignore God. Most likely this fashion runway model of a God will give up and go somewhere else. It is more honorable to force God to admit that He has only made me suffer and a few words here and there do not make up for it. And please don’t throw on me, “Isn’t that kinda God’s whole thing? Make people suffer?” For the very last time, you are thinking in terms of a false Abrahamic god.

11/2/26