lamentation for less than three people

if my dreams are answered and contemplated
and I leave this stolid, ruthless, and murderous planet
sooner rather than later, if there is such a thing as mercy,
I will miss less than three people, less than three from a lifetime,
less than three souls of hopeful wisdom, with love in their hearts,
that ever showed compassion or understanding or tried

I will testify to God and what powerful entities accompanying
the condition of my experiences, my history, and symptoms
in this long and expansive life, already endured far too long,
the contours of which have been cruelty, caged and abused,
which have given me a full range of forgetting more than I should
of a life lived and interactions expansive and not ever desired

I would like to think the sober testimony
of my own experiences might be actionable,
I do long for some response, some consequence,
though that should not be read with short contrast
as a direct punishment, not that it would be uncalled for,
there are segments of social orders that seem to dare it to happen
there are various U.S. subgroups that even feel they deserve it
but above all, let us start first and with adroit determination
those within the medical profession, the supposed wise carers,
let God visit them quickly, let God change the infrastructure —
even more importantly, let God get me out of here quickly
let me sleep and wake to spirits that conquer all forced endurance