perhaps she shouldn’t be here either

maybe it shouldn’t be here for us to find
I have to wonder, do you hear a fast beat
with a woman singing? I hear her contours,
her implicated presence, while you lay within
you last moments of life. She keeps a hand
on my shoulders while I watch you take your
last few conversation points, and I wait to hold
your hand.

but perhaps she shouldn’t be here either
each of us singing in our heads, our hearts
how much we will miss you, every day
for the rest of our lives and for the scattered
forever hold, that existence does maintain
the memory that calls on your to visit from time
to time and to remember, your children do belong
to you

she has something over you, I can tell,
there was something you never told me, so
in these last few days I confess everything,
telling you more than I should have and in the
process just getting you worried abut me and that
was more than understandable, as I would do the
same thing, every person please begging me not
to blame you for dying